Introductions: Tracy

Hi all, I’m Tracy! I am a 4th year graduate student in Entomology at Penn State. I’ve been involved with Penn State Christian Grads since I moved here from the warm wonderland known as Florida. I study bees, beetles, yeast, and pollen. I like MacGyver and I live with student of cosmic mysteries and member of the A-team.

I’m going to Australia because I like going places, but also because I have a strong conviction that grad students are a truly unique group of people with emotional and spiritual needs which might be considered a bit strange by “normal” folks. Take for instance, a common problem among grad students known as the Imposter Syndrome. This mental deformity causes very bright, very accomplished students to think to themselves “I don’t belong here. I’m not actually smart, I’ve only gotten this far by chance.” There is a deep fear of being unmasked, of someone finally finding out that they aren’t actually mensa candidates¹. I’ve felt like this at various points in my graduate career, as have most other grad students I’ve encountered. The focus is on our performance – about keeping it together. With God, the focus is on grace – extravagant grace, in which each of us is completely known and completely loved despite our performance or lack thereof. It’s a beautiful message for tired grad students, or anyone who is weary of wearing a mask.

Another thing I enjoy about being in graduate student ministry is discovering the endless diversity of geeks out there. Everyone in grad school is really into some specific area of study. Ask them about it, and you will be treated to a beautiful lecture, enthusiastically delivered as if you were discussing the only truly interesting topic known to man. After your initial lecture, if your eyes have not become too unfocused, the graduate student will treat you as one of them. You now belong to a secret society of those that know just what is so absorbing about their particular topic. Sometimes I am at a loss to understand such erudite and diverse topics as neurophysics, glaciers, computer security, atmospheric chemistry, Abelard, and cosmic rays. But I am delighted to have friends who “geek out” on me when one of these topics is mentioned. Grad students are unapologetic specialists. In their specialties, I see that God has given each of us gifts, talents, and interests unlike those of any other person. In some cases, very unlike those of any other person. C.S. Lewis puts it nicely when he says “…each of the redeemed shall forever know and praise some aspect of the divine beauty better than any other creature can. Why else were individuals created, but that God, loving all infinitely, should love each differently?”²

So my best hope for this trip is to see a few more imposters ditch their masks and plant flags on their own particular corner of geekdom. The world’s got enough perfect, normal people.

1. Laursen, Lucas. 2008. No, you're not an imposter. Science Careers.
2. Lewis, C.S. The Problem of Pain. New York: Macmillan, 1962.